You met me at a very strange time in my life

The other day I was thinking of the end scene in the movie Fight Club. I haven't seen the film in a long time, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Jack is looking at Marla, buildings collapsing all around them, telling her that he's okay, everything is going to be fine. "You met me at a very strange time in my life," he says.

I started contemplating how I related to Jack's character in many ways. I've wanted to tell people that exact line on several occasions since my Type 1 diagnosis three years ago. Jack and I have gone through a similar catharsis metaphorically. Before I was diagnosed, I obviously knew something was off with my health, but it was more than that. My life was purposeless, it was dull, I had no fiery passion, I'd even call it largely loveless and isolated. My entire soul's expression was caged. I think of Jack alone in his apartment, ordering out of his catalog insistently. The sofa with the green stripe pattern. Material possessions compensating for a total existential void.

Then I landed in the ICU in near-fatal diabetic ketoacidosis ("watch for the brain swelling," the doctor told the nurse as he walked out of the room) and my whole world turned upside down. Once all the doctors and nurses were gone, I found myself really crying for the first time in years. "A lot has to change," I told my mother over the spiral-corded hospital landline. Restricted by constant IVs in both arms, I wasn't able to shower in the hospital for a week. I got home sleep-deprived, wondering how I was actually going to survive this illness, five to six shots a day at that time, took a shower, and all my hair fell out. It took about three showers for it to be almost completely gone, actually. All of what I can now say without really bragging was my gorgeous, beautiful, hip-long, insanely thick hair. I was certain between this and the constant maintenance and limitations of the illness, no one in this world would ever love me.

Reflecting on this moment of my life presently, I connect with the scene from V for Vendetta where Evey is imprisoned and "processed". I felt like everything was taken from me. I was terrified. In truth, I've been experiencing an extremely painful awakening. A mission, a purpose. I'd rather a rose than live forever, as said by the great Edward Estlin Cummings. 

Prediabetes Among Youth Doubled in 20 Years was a March 29, 2022 headline on Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. The article is short and to the point: "According to data from the U.S. government's National Health and Nutritional Examination Survey from 1999-2018, 1 in 5 children has prediabetes."

There is so much more I want to share on this platform. A substantial portion of what is regarded as ill health has metabolic disorder lurking beneath it. I am so happy you have joined me.